I saw an old man in a wheelchair today
He seemed so familiar as he sped away
Suddenly he turned, in his hand was a drink
He said the secret to a long life ain't what people think:
Whiskey, rum, gin and wine
People had told him ""Soon you will be dead!""
But he couldn't get their prophesies into his head
When they pulled out his teeth, he got implants instead
Now everyone is jealous of the life he's led
You only live once, so why compromise?
To stick to your guns should be considered wise
Look at that gold tooth in Shane's upper jaw
And tell me that he didn't pull the longest straw