ForgottenEvilTwin - Joy Lyrics

Why am I waiting
For someone to save me?
They can't save me from myself
Cause I won't get help
What am I debating?
When my health's degrading
And bullshit comes from my mouth
Then all this shit goes south
This joy is fleeting, a ploy so defeating
I just won't fall in line cause of my arrogant pride
And all these drugs in my pocket seems that I want to want it
In a perpetual high, but I still won't f*cking cry
Then I go up and down 'till I spiral out
And I won't come out of my room, in my head
I avoid the sound of the joy around
Cause I know I'll be on drugs 'till I'm dead
I love you Analise
But I can't give you peace
I just keep letting you down
'Till this shit goes south
This joy is fleeting, a ploy so defeating
I just won't fall in line cause of my arrogant pride
And all these drugs in my pocket seems that I want to want it
In a perpetual high, but I still won't f*cking cry
Then I go up and down 'till I spiral out
And I won't come out of my room, in my head
I avoid the sound of the joy around
Cause I know I'll be on drugs 'till I'm dead
My Lord, won't you take me?
Or is this to break me?
Am I already in hell?
Or just under a spell?
Because before we were babies
Knew nothing but playing
But, what are we, now?
Please save me, somehow