The Fourth Horse - Hold Back Lyrics

I've gotta hold back
My temptation is a victim of circumstance
I've gotta hold back
The way that you work has me in a trance
I've gotta hold back
Liberation is within my reach, I can feel it
I've gotta hold back
Litigation won't deter my speech, best believe it
I've gotta hold back
Talking 'bout a bad idea, I'll conceive it
I've gotta hold back
Lock it out and toss the key, I'll retrieve it
I've gotta hold back
Chasing after power, when I find it then I leave it
I've gotta hold back
Wasting hour after hour 'til I wanna scream "I quit"

I'm just tryna do everything every day
All the time in every way, it doesn't leave me time to play
Got my engine running, running 'til it's gone astray
Sun and moon don't rise today
All this darkness I create
God, don't start this breakaway
Don't think I can handle it
Not since I was branded with this label I was stranded with
Unable to expand my mind
Stable enough to maintain my crimes
Toe the line and break my spine
Wait 'til I obtain what's mine

Reparations, write a rhyme
All that I can offer
Preparations, pressed on time
Pretending I was stronger
Expecting that I'll see a sign, I'll wait a little longer
Projecting all that's in my mind, defend what little honor I have left

I'm a goner like the rest
More myself when I'm possessed
Fight or fly when I get stressed
All these thoughts left unexpressed
All this tension in my chest
Never mentioned, never guessed
After thinking I'd progressed
I'm compelled to be obsessed

I was thrice expelled from society
Thought twice when I learned you'd lie to me
Never knew that you were a spy to be
It wasn't true when you said you'd die for me

But now that chapter's over
Time's come to capture closure
Your gimmick's getting older
I limit my exposure

I'm not a poser, I just don't know what to say
Tell you what you want to hear, it seems the safest way
Working hard for near a year, rewards have a delay
Finally getting something for the price I had to pay

Wait, not quite perfect
Wishing I could live forever, tryna dodge impermanence
Listing all the things I never did just 'cause of nervousness
Trapped inside my chrysalis, aching for metamorphosis

I know that I've been forcing this, I just can't keep my mind on nothing else
Need the time to pass a little slower 'til I find good health
Appreciate support but I need to apply a little stealth
Incorporate a little love, only this time for myself