The Foxsmiths - Fancy Pond Lyrics

I wanted a lover
I wanted someone who could force out a change
I needed a reason
To put the happiness of others ahead of my own
I wanted a mint garden
And maybe some basil and cilantro too
I wanted their own growth
To disguise and eclipse the lack of my own

I wanted to fly away
I wanted to become a bird, even though that's too used of an analogy
I wanted to die, ok?
I'm not proud of my past, or my current state of mind
But these outings are starting to get to me, I'm not comfortable with who I am
Everyone is making such better music than me, I can't pretend
That these words have any merit, these ideas all lack
I'm not smart, I'm just down