Gabriel James - Inner Demons Lyrics

I have these inner demons
It's like they wanna see me
Fall back in
To the mess
That I was
Long ago
But I can't Go Back

I have these inner demons
They do not want to leave me
I have these inner demons

Let us return to the time
When I was much younger and I
Was sleepwalking every night
Searching for ways to get high
40 bottles and blunts stunts in the car
Driving drunk was regular
Didn't have a music studio of my own
No internet cellulars
Was drugged out on cocaine binges
Popping a couple of seraquils
Back when I worked at Wal-Mart
In the photo lab out in the War Zone
Burque bred me
Even though my parents were from Santa Fe
My blood was thin from whiskey
Lost in the darkness was my therapy
No one was there to carry me
When I was stumbling terribly
If I died back then, so be it, defeated by drugs
In need of a better me
But incredibly
Made it out even though I won't escape my memories
Inner demons creeping the shadows of my mind pestering relentlessly.

I have these inner demons
They do not want to leave me
I have these inner demons

I have these inner demons
It's like they wanna see me
Fall back in
To the mess
That I was
Long ago
But I can't Go Back

Back in the day
When the brick weed was still plentiful
Pounds of Mexakindo
Mixed with shrooms and drinking Modelo
Was a bit of a binger on a bender
Acid trips would send us
Deep into zones of thoughts
That felt like God was the one who sent them
Ritualistic sceneries
Some said it looked like a sayonce
The way we lit candles and sat in circles
Having trouble keeping our faces on
The race was on
But no
Finish line or destination
Just get high as a space ship
Sometimes I wanted to stay there
No trip was too hard to handle
I was a vet, I'd take a whole hand load
Of miniature closed caps
Crumble them up and let the water boil
I made Fungi Muzak
In the pits of my mind's Hell
Fought myself so many occasions
I'm surprised I haven't fell

I have these inner demons
They do not want to leave me
I have these inner demons

I'm still smoking on mad blunts
But I quit doing drugs
No more 3 day missions
Riding with the demons
No cocaine or liquor
Just steady cheifing
And no more drunken walks through Roosevelt Park
In the late evenings
See it's
Been bitter sweet and I feel free since
I've left those dark regions
But the memories of loneliness are some of these inner demons
When they begin
To surface get's hot like furnaces in the winter season
We all have these things that
Eat away at our think caps
But it seems that
Memories weigh on us heavily
So devilish hardly heavenly
Leaving some relishing regretingly
Holding to heaviness of the heart
Never start or even begin to move on
Stuck in the negative
Not wanting the positive
It's a wonder why all of them live
Inside of a bottomless pit
Of crab bucket mentalities, the reality
Is inner demons can be taken out of you