I'm just gonna keep heading up this mountain
Until I don't doubt myself anymore
And if I don't get it right
Maybe I'll call it quits
Alright
I think I'ma call it quits
Sit on my accomplishments
I'm convinced that I am sick
But also know that I'm a prince
On the fence, on I'm calling since
I Balled up since I lost my shit
All because the law was thick
In my business, all so twisted
Even if I rolled up in a Rolls,
With all my soldiers in it
Don't think I could sprawl a visit
Even if the law was with it
If I told all existence
The whole list of all I did
Through all the ditches I have been in
They would crawl up a tall wall to miss it
Can't convince them, I'm a fallen victim
Plus, I'm sure they wouldn't listen
Even though I'm a Christian
I'd still be completely dissed
Be so pissed and leave it to the distance
Breathing steam and spitting venom
Bleeding wisdom, leaving this old skin
Completely shredded
Headed for an evening
I'm completely dreading
Reading through this evenings section of grief
And I can see it's a beast
Of dark and deep depression
In a demon setting
A freak, so freely ready to leave
This heavy grief
And deeply rest into a peaceful setting
Pleasing sleep, just let me be
As I ease into my dreams
Ascend me please
I beg and plead
I'm on my knees
So I pray when I lay down my head
Feel the ground shake
Like an earthquake
As it vibrates through my head
Face all red now,
Heart's racing I'm a mess now,
What am I about to face
Hope I won't be let down
Hear a voice clear as day
Like thunder
Saying get down
So I get down
I can no longer improvise
This is why my hidden pride
Is no longer giving vibes
As I sit and cry, this won't fly
Just wanna slip and slide
In my ride
Till I collide
I should've died
To my demise
I'm living why
These thoughts,
They sit and fry inside my mind
When will I find some forgiveness cause I've given mine
I should've tried harder
Instead of letting my partner leave my side
Could've went farther,
But I lied
Now I'm starving for my life
Someone carve me with a knife
Cause I'm hardly doing right
Cut an artery, give a slice
Cause my heart can't even partially
Start another night of this arguing
For what are we
If we're bartering with our lives
Took my card charged it twice
Far from being nice
In archery woulda hit this target
With a dart that's lit
Sparks would ignite
Till it blows apart a bit
When hitting me
In the center of the heart of my life
Far from being anything
Other than articles of pain
As I'm marching towards the light
Carting my cart of hard to reach parts of me that I write
And this is hardly but a slice
Just a part of war
Within my mind
Wish I could rewind
Wish I could change the past
But I can't take it back
Would rather step on a rake
And have it stake my naked ass
Then leave the situation as it is
As we break in half
Not knowing what we're gonna make it as
Lately I'm ashamed and sad
Forget the fame I'll take it back
Eat snakes and rats
Lay on my back in a Jason mask
While people whoop my ass
Till this day's my last
I guess nothing I can say
Will change the facts
The picture perfect frame until I break the glass
I guess the days have passed
I pray the latter days are fast
The mates we pick are glass
So we can see through the mistakes and laugh
If I could say my prayers in rhyme form
During the storm you designed for him
Would I be boring or at the morgue
When the time's gone
Cause if that's the course I'm on
I'm gonna need a jury
When I'm torn from this journey that I'm on
If not then assure me
My time's long
That I'm strong enough
Don't discourage me when I'm wrong
Even if I'm old and drunk
Just hold me up
Encourage me not to fold it up
Cause all the stuff I've been through's tough enough
To roll with instead of calling cut
Like the director
I'm rolling all takes
Been bold enough
Even when my knees weak
And it's the last stake
My shoulders shrug
Barely hold them up
And crawl on up
To a level that's ultra rough
Making this all worth it
So am I wrong or what
Cause if I am
Then you are all nuts
And this soldier stuff
All just sucks