Ghostnipple - Slappy the Christmas Elf. Lyrics

In Santa's grotto where children delight
There's an infamous Elf who works day and night
He may be short but don't think he ain't tough
He's Slappy the elf and he's had enough
When Slappy's on duty don't dare waste his time
Don't cause any trouble don't step out of line
He doesn't give warnings he slaps with surprise
The naughty make puddles when they see his hand rise
Slaps sting like a bee and float stars in your eyes
His gift is called the backhander surprise
So behave in the grotto and the line will move fast
No tears or tantrums or he'll kick your ass
Billy punched a hole in the ginger bread door
Grabbed a barbie-trans-farmer and a connect four
His wallet roared Jill hitting Santa with a train
But Slappy's double hander put an end to their game
Parent's little darlings come looking for toys
Some leave with a pony some leave with black eyes
Slap from the hips he taught this to Bruce Lee
He doesn't slap cheap but the first one is free
Slaps sting like a bee and float stars in your eyes
His gift is called the backhander surprise
So behave in the grotto and the line will move fast
No tears or tantrums or he'll kick your ass
He's a hero to parents a legend in their eyes
Slappy the elf and his backhander surprise
So kids take heed make the right choice
Respect the elf sorting naughty from nice
Disney bought Christmas they own the copyright
So we can't take photos anymore on site
But I tell you a secret between you and me
Slip Slappy ten dollars and he'll pose for an elfie