Every day my friend and I we like to run and laugh and play
Peruse and run around about the town, I wouldn't have it any other way
Although there's a fault in this, it haunts me every day
He may be my best friend, but he creeps me out because he's made of toast
He's just my toast friend, my plain old toast friend
Can't ride any roller coasters, can't go to the petting zoo
Can't do much of anything but he's my toast friend and I love you
Sometimes when I'm hungry and my funds are running dry
My mouth waters at the thought of butter on dry rye
Although I care about him I just cannot resist
To nibble on his crust and caress his buttery nips
One day the Chris and I grew hungry and weak
And to our minds our stomachs had reached their hunger peaks
So we shot him with a tranquilizer and his legs became weak
He fell on a plate and we cut him so he couldn't speak
I ate my toast friend
He was delicious, my toast friend
I'm sure he curses me for the deeds I did that day
Cause he's my toast friend,
His name is MP and he's my toast friend