the text I couldn't send Video (MV)

I've been feeling f*cked up inside
My mind's my own prison time
It's only gotten worse
Locked in the back of a hearse
Where it's swerving in reverse
Off a cliff with no way to shift
Out of control out of collision
Leaving me to piece myself together
After the incision that left me severed
I feel so lost in the torture
My mind runs flashbacks in horror
Of my broken past
Losing friends that never last

Losing family in my grasp
It's a f*cking shame
That at the end of the day
I'm all there is to blame
For my mistakes
For digging these graves
The people I never forgave
The words I couldn't phrase
The part of my life that was just a phase
A place in hell that I couldn't escape
And hell is paved in good intentions
And my intention was never to cause an intervention
Scratching at my skin like an obsession
It doesn't feel like much of a blessing
When it's repressing my lessons
Of being a better man
Feeling f*cked up was never my plan
It weighs on my chest like it's never weighed before

And nobody's reaching out anymore
They've seen how bitter I've become and more
So I stay locked away laying on the floor
It's gotten me feeling rotten to my core

When I see myself battling my own war
Alone and out of sight
Without anyways to carry this fight
Somehow I'm still here tonight
Trying to make things right
Looking for some kind of insight
Cuz I'm lacking the foresight
To grow and make amends
To create a better end
To the text's I couldn't send
The hate from past friends
The rules I tried to bend
To get what I want rather than I need

Leading me to life I felt I had to plead
To get any help to make me see
That this is destroying everything I may be
And may become, so before this is done

I want it be to known
That life always has a reset, a way to rewire
The shit that you still want to aspire to be
Even when shit is dire
And when you can't see past the fire
In your mind, behind those eyes
If you feel f*cked up, so do I
If there's a bridge I can recross
Rather than a bridge to burn
Would you show me some heart and make amends
Forgive me for the texts that I couldn't send

Could you forgive me?