Early mornings jacking off
Late nights jackin off
Daddy's couch jackin off
Not even stopping when my dick is soft
I got offended when people took the conversation
Like you're doing fine let me stay and talk about my problems
I have no problem with being ya therapists replacement
But maybe this ain't the time and place to try go and solve em
We get into the agenda
Hate that word reminds me of work
And I'm at home now
And nothing I planned for seemed to really work
I spent my grocery money on a chain
That had my nickname
And it's the name you only say if you don't really know me
I only came here to play some games and run from my self hatred
But it seems that God has different plans and that shit is just not for me
My sister tell me not to stress
Stay away from all that mess
My daddy tell me stay the course
But the course is looking like a set
Up, for failure
And I done failed too many life times
And I'm always open ears
But sometimes I feel
Like I ain't gotta life line
It's hard to open up
It's hard to trust
Shit is so fast
I've ran into 3 ex's it was awkward in the past
Last
Month
I've changed
But I wish that i could be better
Wish that I could wake up motivated to make this life better
Wish that I could delete you from my life and make my life better
But I know it's not you it's about me
But to put it on you makes life better
You cannot lie to the soil
All that shit isn't for you
I listened to Saba's EP
Like that shit was all written for you
6 hour drive til I'm home
But I feel so f*ckin homeless
I mean I'm dying inside
And ya heart is just where the home is
Why couldn't I say all of this
In front of all of my homies (Home-mays)
I saw them the whole weekend
Renewal is coming up shortly
And There's just so many layers
Being from a place like nowhere
And there's just nowhere to go
Which means there's nowhere to grow
I been so focused on money
Hadnt even spoke about my soul
Cuz man that shit is so low
It's hard to struggle solo
I know I got some real friends
But I choose to talk to fake ones
Self sabotage at its finest
Come show me how to break one
I been this fake since day 1
I Got bullied on day 1
Got tired of all that shit
So now I am a playa
Nobody likes a Queer athlete
So let me stop all this traction
So then I turn to a mathlete
Cal AP taking a backseat
Tell her that I have a track meet
My speedo I'm quite attractive
She went to go f*ck on homies
My virgin ass was so lonely
Not really asking for much
I just wanna be all accepted
But not by ppl like me
Cuz to me that shit was a death wish
I was too poppin for nerds
But too smart to stay at the park
Change my name to groovy in college
I couldn't deal with this marc
I'm too smart the evil scientist just tryina play in his part
Finessed my way to the top
Every party I'm gonna pop
But where the f*ck do you go when you feel you peaked in that life
And it didn't bring all the shit you thought it would I'm driving at night
Cut the lights off swerving down the lane I just might end it tonight
What the f*ck has my life come to? Is this even MY life?
Jewels ass cheated on me
I broke up August 13th
I woke up August 14th
What the f*ck happened to me
WOAH