Pondering Video (MV)

Friends wondering where the f*ck I been
Dad told me stay away from sin
Shit I'm pondering when the pain gone end
Can't f*ck with snakes or no reptilian
I'm on my own that's just how life goes
Hard to wife you up can't trust no hoe
She independent working the pole
We work our life away until we in a hole
Sad when I see my boss more than pops
Sure we gotta survive but what's it gonna cost
We run our life in circles it's never stop
Until one day we look up and guess what we lost
I been sleeping for several weekends
Tryna hone in up on my demons
Tryna bone and release some semen
Been at home every single evening
Cause the comfort I hate leaving
And it feel better just dreaming
This reality is deceiving
Emotion is my only weakness
Shit I been up in solitude
Don't bother me & I won't bother you
Unless you a baddie then come on thru
Only got drama when she got a dude
You gotta do what you gotta do
If you sleep me then follow thru
When I awake It's I owe you
I'm chasing faces yes I'm making moves
Look man shit done hit the fan
Cause rapping really didn't bring in bans
Or maybe I didn't really make plans
Or maybe I didn't f*cking understand
The f*cking process , it's leave me nauseous
When I realize that I ain't got shit
But a couple more possessions
That brings some more bills & stressing
Like really really think about it
Got a whip just to pay insurance
Left my family just to pay some rent
Man ain't that about a bitch
Yeah life's a bitch that I'm gone hit
And I'ma dog straight behind the fence
Taking a mile even without an inch
Got to the money ain't heard from me since
Pondering why It take so long
They pondering why I'm getting strong
They wonder where I'm at idk
Hi I'm Paul but now I'm gone