Hey everybody, grab your dancin' shoes
It's goin' down and there's no time to lose
You've got a chance to win some tights and cigars
They're better prizes than in Rockbusters
The lights are flashing to Colin's beat
If you take a business card, please give it back to me
Who is this mystery man, this dazzling Darren?
It's Pilkie makin' music again
If your girlfriend's got a haircut like Dave Hill from Slade
A hundred pack of condoms will get you laid
Once you start the lovin' don't ever stop
Even if the fire department starts to knock
When he's havin' it away you can't intervene
Faster than a Serbian sex machine
The diesel-soaked mattress is rockin' again
'Cause Pilkie's gettin' busy in bed
At the kitchen sink, looking out the window
At all the characters across the road
The woman reading the same book and
The Chinese lad dancin' in his underpants
The bouncer's getting on his black clothes and shoes
KP's dropped his trousers for the woman who's nude
He could do it without thumbs, he's so talented
'Cause Pilkie's washin' dishes again
Pilkie's washin' dishes again
Pilkie's gettin' busy in bed
Pilkie's makin' music again