Jabalord - Expressively Distant Lyrics

I've never been one to talk about myself
But I guess I'll open up
And I hope to God this helps
How can I express myself?
Is there something wrong with me?
How can I express myself?
Is it bursting at the seams and I'm just blind?
I'm sure you've noticed how the first four minutes of this song
I only had a few words to say
Well, that's my mind in a nutshell
A constant jam of a song
And all I wanna do is air drum to the beat in my head
It makes it hard to repeat the words you've said
It's not that I don't wanna listen, I just can't
And it makes me feel so different
It makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me
And how can I express myself
When I can barely keep up with the hand I'm dealt?
I can't keep conversation
And I can barely convey just how I feel
When others do nice things for me
It shows my insecurities I try to hide
I'm so f*cking pathetic
Okay, well maybe I'm not
But I can't help how I feel about myself
I'm so expressively distant
Why am I so different?
Is there something wrong with me?
I've got a lot of heavy weight on my shoulders
And I gotta get it off
I need to figure out just who I am
And where I belong
I'm just being honest with myself
For the first time in a long time
And I can't help but feel these certain ways
But if it takes me breaking down a little
And coming clean
I swear I'm not trying to be mean
I see it as a form of therapy
And God I need this
As I'm trying to find where I'm supposed to be