japanese tv club - horrow Lyrics

I have these dreams I'm drowning in a pool in my backyard
Everyone is crowded round and is applauding
It's an afterlife party, best time of their lives
I'm rolling around smiling
Noises in my ears are becoming silent
It's the treatment I need
It's the attention I crave
I wonder how many people will visit my grave
I'm not too bothered who
I'm just happy to meet you, I wish I could kiss you
I wish I could hug you

I can not connect
To anything
I wish I could
Nothing feels better than the ultimate rush of nearly doing it

I always feeling guilty and ashamed to admit it
But when we were riding bikes I wish I got hit
Why do we never call girls pretty anymore?
As if kindness is a weakness men should ignore
I'm ugly but it's okay, I can live with it
It's not a big problem and I can't change it
Self deprecating evidence evidently states
That those seeking for forgiveness are those who wait
It's the kiss with a sting, it's the drug in your drink
Or the rash on your leg or the rot in your teeth
It's the silence in the living room
The stutter in speech
It's those awful memories that you want to erase

Speak when I'm spoken to
Give all my things to you
I feel so transparent
That's okay
Because I know we all do