Jason Vitelli - Propagate Lyrics

I pay for my bliss, in self-loathing emptiness
In alienation, in loneliness

I pay in bewildered stares, in lovers without a care
I pay in credit charges and straight cash

I pay in a loss of intimacy, lost in expectations
I pay in endless explanations and reasons to speak out
For myself, for myself, for myself!

'Cause the world doesn't understand that no one will take my hand
And I pay for my dearest wishes
With the next tidal hit swelling from my trail of tears

I'm pulled by an undertow, so fierce with ire
That it leaves me threadbare, shirtless, and tired

And although those ships sail on, those that are not inspired
Their insipid surf extinguishes my hell
Hellfire, hellfire, hellfire

'Cause the world doesn't understand that no one will take my hand
And I pay for my dearest wishes
With the next spiteful slap shaking my bowing kneecaps!

We pay for our bliss in the hot nights and anxious cold sweats
In the times I need an unconditional kiss from you

But you want me to be prejudiced
To love you more than I love myself
To covet your kisses and spend all my wishes
On the jeweler for your diamond necklace

Until I turn out a bullied old man
Spending all his change on the little grandchildren
Who follow in the footsteps of my forgone freedom
"Was it worth it, was it worth it?" I ask my flaccid libido
Did I propagate the race, propagate the family name?