[ Featuring Bill's Unnamed Band Project ]
Have a swig and a swallow
Your pig's gonna follow you
Down to the five and dime
He's a little bit shady
Cuttin' eyes at your lady
I think he's trynna beat your time
This 'shine is a corker
And I'm sure he wants to pork her
You better keep an eye his way
Look there in his trotter
There's petunias that he bought her
What more do I have to say?
You can huff about it puff about it whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when your pig cuckolds you?
He's dirty and smelly
With his big old pork belly
But he's goin' after you know who
First he gives a little squeal
To express his sex appeal
Then he does a little wallowing jig
But by the time he gets her going
She has no real way of knowing
That he's just another chauvinist pig
The fact here that I'm floating
He's a wolf in pig's clothing
I'm not trying to offend
My sincere diagnosis
She's gon' catch some trichanosis
Putting lipstick on your piggy friend
You can huff about it puff about it whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when your pig cuckolds you?
He's dirty and smelly
With his big old pork belly
But he's goin' after you know who
You better get down in the mud
And nip it in the bud
Or your piggy friend will never stop
Show him your the time to beat
By pickling his feet
And take him to the butcher shop
He may cry "oui oui oui"
And try to break free
But don't let him get greasy and gone
Bid farewell to your pig
Have a swallow and a swig
And relax because supper is on
You can huff about it puff about it whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when your pig cuckolds you?
He's hammily delicious
In so many pork dishes
From bacon bits to barbecue
