JayteKz - Soul Searching Lyrics

So much weight on my chest
I feel so alone don't know how to express
The stress in my heart
The wounds in my soul
The past is the past but I can't let it go and it breaks me
I swear this shit f*cking breaks me
I'm desperate, can somebody come and save me?
Cause lately, I've been close to the f*ckin' edge
So many suicidal thoughts in my f*cking head
I'm so depressed and I feel ashamed
Popping pills everyday so I don't feel the pain
But I don't say shit
I don't ever say shit
Cause every time I try it's like I hear the same shit
Jay, you gon' be just fine
You just gotta give it time, find your peace of mind
But you don't understand the tears that I shed
Sometimes I just cry only wishing I was dead and I'm sorry
I'm truly sorry for the way I feel
I'm so lost in my dreams don't know what is real
This poetry is all I have when I feel deprived
I grab my pad and my pen and I feel revived
I can't decide what the f*ck am I here for
I'm doing what I love but my heart's still sore
I still battle with depression on a daily
I see my own reflection and I swear I f*ckin' hate me
I said I swear I f*ckin' hate me
Got a big heart but my heart's slowly breaking
Chasing all my dreams but I don't know where it's gon' take me
Tired of being broke, gotta start acting shady
Making dirty money, yo, this shit is so degrading
Momma know I'm sorry for this route in which I'm taking
I ain't f*ckin' proud of these decisions that I'm making but I'm desperate for some Answers why my heart is always aching
If you hear me Lord, talk to me
All the sins from my past have been haunting me
I'm so scared of the future so I stay stuck
Broken into pieces yo my spirits all taped up
I came up, but it feels like I'm coming down
Pool full of liquor swim 'til I f*ckin' drown
That's the only way I know how to crack a smile
Taking shots 'til I vomit and I'm passing out
When I'm sober I just feel afraid
I don't know if I'ma live to see another day
I'm tryna' stand but I feel like I'm 'boutta cave
I'm so trapped in my mind like a f*ckin' slave
So much weight on my chest got me feeling tired
Plague in my soul I swear is like a wildfire
Like a wildfire spreading everywhere take a look into my eyes see the pain
Yo there's plenty there
See the pain yo there's plenty there
But I don't know if they really care
Where is love is it anywhere?
And if it is yo it's really rare
Can a broken heart be repaired?
Can a broken heart be repaired?
Can you tell me yo I need to know
Or is it lost in our own despair?
Can you tell me yo I need to know
Can you tell me yo I need to know
Or is it lost in our own despair?