relax Video (MV)

I'm thinking maybe I should relapse
Maybe that way I could relax
Maybe I'll thrown on a ski mask
Kick down the door I'm taking me back
I'm thinking maybe I should relapse
Maybe that way I could relax
A better me I thought I need that
But in my heart I know I'll never be that
Somedays I just wanna give up
They've done me wrong, I've got these grudges I just tally em up
And when they see me I just smile like I don't give a f*ck
But on the inside I keep screaming til my feelings go numb
It sounds unhealthy, found my method for replacing the drugs
And I'm exhausted but won't tell you I'm in need of a hug
I throw myself into relationships, addicted to love
Yet I'm always so surprised they end up pulling the rug
I'm thinking maybe I should relapse
Maybe that way I could relax
Maybe I'll thrown on a ski mask
Kick down the door I'm taking me back
I'm thinking maybe I should relapse
Maybe that way I could relax
A better me I thought I need that
But in my heart I know I'll never be that
Lately I been feeling like an army of one
I got my back against the wall, my choice is shooting em up
I never thought I had these demons, thought I was having fun
But when I whitened up my eyes, I saw the damage I'd done
And to my family, I know they always been my side
I did them wrong for all those years I was evading my eyes
I carry weight for those I hurt back when I was getting high
I don't expect you to forgive me
Redacted
But they don't wanna see another one, gone
But I don't think that I could right another wrong
And I keep thinking if I write another song, then I'll belong
They don't wanna see another one, gone
But maybe this was how it ended all along
I kept thinking I just needed to stay strong, where did I go wrong
I'm thinking maybe I should relapse
Maybe that way I could relax
Maybe I'll thrown on a ski mask
Kick down the door I'm taking me back
I'm thinking maybe I should relapse
Maybe that way I could relax
A better me I thought I need that
But in my heart I know I'll never be that
I'm thinking maybe I should relapse
Maybe that way I could relax
A better me I thought I need that
But in my heart I know I'll never be that
I'll never be that, no