Joe Bartel - You're Not Special Lyrics

Ineffective and lazy
I've been driving myself crazy
With this pointless self-destructive streak of mine
Is it hopeless? Am I worthless
And devoid of any purpose in this world?
How quickly we all fall in line.
But I can't keep this engine running
I'm not made of time or money
I could drink myself to death hounded by debt collectors
Rotting in my bedroom, pushing everyone away.
I never really thought this would be perfect
But I need something to come along and make it all worth it
There must be better ways to die than drunk alone dead broke and high
And feeling insignificant and weird in my own skin all the time
And it f*cking kills me that I've taken you for granted
But all this guilt, what is it worth if I don't change who I'm gonna be?
Feeling stuck, always failing
Treading water, I can't bail it fast enough.
Executive dysfunction, still my mind.
Twenty-six more.
But I'm sick of feeling useless
And I've run out of excuses
So I'll jam it in my brain until it sticks!
But you're not special, you're not worthy
Of my greatness, of my glory
I know this world wants us to feel so small and insecure,
Like changing for the better wouldn't be worth it either way
Because life's a joke and nothing really matters,
But now I know that meaning isn't what I'm really after!
There must be better ways to die than drunk alone dead broke and high
And feeling insignificant and weird in my own skin all the time
And it f*cking kills me that I've taken you for granted
But all this guilt, what's it been worth if I don't change?
Someday soon, my brain will stop its screaming
And my blood will stop its boiling
And my heart will not hold hatred anymore.
And I won't have to fake an empty smile
We could rest here for a while
No more guilt, no shame, just love that's overgrown in my heart.