I wish I'd seen it long ago
But you hid it so far below
The surface no one could ever know
Who you are behind closed doors
It started small, but then it grew
A white hot hatred that was used
To freeze, hold, sculpt, and shape me
Into anything that you would need
And I believed you
The words that you said
I believed you
And everything that they meant
I cannot move, I cannot speak
Just stare at what is happening
In front of me in disbelief
And oh, I have tried
To give my all and give my best
With patience and forgiveness
But this is far beyond a test
Or even a fight
Words are bullets that we hold
The easiest targets are always close
A trigger pulled, a muzzle flash
You can't take them back
And I believed you
Regretted what you'd said
I believed you
But then you said it again and again
I cannot move, I cannot blink
Or process what's unraveling
In front of me in disbelief
And oh, I have tried
To give my all and give my best
And persevere through what comes next
But this is far beyond a test
Or even a fight
Hot to the touch is the fire escape
I'll burn if I leave, but I'll burn more if I stay
I always said that I'd fight for you
I never knew that'd mean fighting you
By the look in your eyes, I'm paralyzed by fear
Hell must be empty because the devil is here
The worst part is all the times you said
"This will never happen again"
And I believed you