[ Featuring the Yoghurt Man ]
A Friday evening in the middle of September
Picked up the banjo but the songs I don't remember
I tell my wife we're having such horrible weather
She's nonexistent though: I talk to her for pleasure
This does feel a bit too real
What's that making noise in my crop fields?
Putting down the banjo, luckily I don't break the strings
I've always been perceptive of seeing the little things
There's a noise in the field sounding like how a mermaid sings
Followed by sci-fi nonsense: tons of little bloops and bings
I get there: no one in sight
Until I look up seeing a space craft in flight
Prepare for an abduction
Their silver heads
Looming from an inner hole's outer edges
Rushing
Away but it's too late
I'm being sucked into this dinner plate
Flushed in
The clothes they're given: robes
As they prepare the worst kind of probes
Abduction
How can it be
How can it be
How can it be
My papa told me that aliens do not exist
Until he died of a bad anus related cyst
If I was a detective I'd make a case out of this
But I'm looking for a career as a zoologist
They've got koi fish, not red herrings
And maybe I'll end up marrying
My pa hooked up with a hooker from a Vegas bar
She gave him me: her child support being a banjo guitar
He's hated me since: claimed that hooker was a liar
And told me boys like me end up having no hearts
I'm a monster, like Frankenstein
Washing away my sorrows in $12 wine
I should have been abducted
Abducted
My papa kicked the bucket
Bucket
His last words to me: suck it
Suck it
So take me aliens, f*ck it
F*ck it
Can't talk about abductions
Got this thing in my chin
That will blow up if i talk about other beings
Suction
Brings me PTSD
Making me weak in the arms and knees
Gushing
Blood in my prostate
Something that has caused me not to defecate
Abduction
I'm so sorry
And I'm so sorry
And I'm so sorry
