Johny Locus - Chapter One Lyrics

What's wrong?
God really?
You don't see the pain in my heart?
Don't be silly
I been begging for your presence since the day I felt pity
I hope I don't offend in the end this won't be pretty
I've been craving to be wanted and desired
I thought maybe in your church because
This your empire
All the loneliness I had was influenced by your hirers
I could name quite a few, who deserves to be fired
Writing up list, won't distinguish all this fire
My heart burns for pleasure but for me it's not required
I must say it would be nice
Or I'd claim to be a liar
Pushing back "it would be nice" because my needs are never dire
What I'm trying to say
All around I'm really tired
If I truly rest in you
Will you see what I desire?
Are you here to hear my truth?
Or you here to speak-
John, take a moment, sit and breathe
You know my son
He's here to intercede
You have my spirit
Given to you for free
Let me say I do desire for
All things you need
If you sit and take a knee I can tell you what you need
But the time I choose speak, you seem to take the lead
Bashing everything I help you see when you read
Give you plenty rest, see your family and breathe
Comparing me to Job?
Don't respond the way you have
If I hear his life again, why we living in the past?
When I tell you bout my pain, see my heart is in a cast
I didn't gain the whole world, what I gained? a broken past
All the memories of you, brings the moments with my dad
Anger and some rage it's so hard to turn the page
My dad is forgiven but for you I'm still enraged
Every time I called your name the only thing I heard is "wait"
Maybe at my wake I would gain a peace of faith
Knowing what I see, I could look you in your face
I'm fighting disbelief, I can't seem to flip the page
I hurt with you my son I really do
I hurt with every hurt that hurt'd you
I promised to my son I'd hold my wrath
Just so you can talk the way you do