Jonathan Montijo - Paranoia (feat. Ryan Zeitler) Lyrics

Hey what's up, I'm dying
Didn't realize I was trying
But suicide comes easier by simply living
Acting like I don't care what I'm doing
Like I don't know who I'm screwing over
Brush the shoulder off
Never call the cops
Never take a bit of consequence just stumble off
And crumble, scoff, then do it all again
Cuz I'm the freaking one of ten
At least I see it that way as likely everybody does
Yet it matters not cuz all this thought is helping me adjust
To the possibility it's not a challenge
And I must fight monotonous
To shake off all the dust and start a life I'm proud of
Not one out of control
Yet so simple and so complex just like the rest
But its not mine, cuz mine's sublime
And won't exist as long as I'm alive

I see the light darkening inside me

Rise up
Revel in the paranoia
Why not
Travel into planes unheard of
Rise up
Revel in the paranoia
I'm stuck
Music is medicine

It's not an illness but its real
As I'm writing what I feel
It seems the only place I find myself not wallowing is here
There's a lack of me here
I'll speak honestly here
You say its madness a computer screen's unlocking my identity
I tell myself I'm useless and I tell myself I'm it
I tell myself I'm broken then I tell myself I'm fixed
I tell myself I'm rotten and I tell myself I'm fresh
But it seems the truth I truly need comes out during my sesh

I know life's great but somehow I still fail to reject those thoughts that say
It's okay to lift yourself up but be risen on stakes
Because we'll never forget our own mistakes
But luckily I'm forced to find what doesn't change
When I'm thrown into currents that refuse to pull the reigns
And I don't want anything that doesn't motivate me
To tear through the curtains and finally conversate

(I know life's great)
There's nothing left
(But somehow I still fail to)
I must rebuild
(Reject those thoughts that say it's okay)
So I will walk onto that field
(To lift yourself up but be risen by on stakes)
And strike the earth until I find
(Because we'll never forget our own mistakes)
A sturdy ground to build upon so finally I'll rise

Rise up
Revel in the paranoia
Why not
Travel into planes unheard of
Rise up
Revel in the paranoia
I'm stuck

R-R-Rise up
Revel in the paranoia
Why not
Travel into planes unheard of
Rise up
Revel in the paranoia
I'm stuck
Music is medicine

So much going on that I can't understand
That I can't comprehend, so I don't take a stand
I try to act hard but that's not who I am
I made some friends, guess I'll lose them again
Want you to be moved by the music
And shoot for improvement
In truth I am clueless, confused by Confucius
I'm an ordinary dude just staying loose while I lose it
I'm a fool and I'm stupid, trying to prove I'm not useless
Love the paranoia, love the drama, love the gossip
I'm just looking 'round like my whole life is a hot trip
Get my face wet with some water from the faucet
Now I'm sitting here going crazy
Losing my grip on reality
I'm slipping in and out of me
It's sad to see I'm mad at me
Fast acting casually in tragedy
Travesty, cuz I lack the key to anatomy
Apathy trapping me flat back to average me

The wall's closing in
I'm paranoid so let's begin

I-I-I'm paranoid
I-I-I'm paranoid
I'm paranoid, whoa

I-I-I'm paranoid
I-I-I'm paranoid
I'm paranoid, yeah