Josh Dion - So Wrong Lyrics

I smoke to forget the choices i made
Depression had me tweaking ya boy was goin insane
Kicked out of college with a noggin full of knowledge was a pain
I wont acknowledge its was hard I'm being honest
Tucked all my pain behind a convincing smile knowing all the
While my feelings were just to volatile
Pushed away the girl i wanted marry
Bought a ring everything then shit got hairy
Worst part about it was all my fault
Lashing out at others like wild beast caught
I never wanted to be the nigga to ruin things
Think of other outcomes like a bunch of deleted scenes
I didn't know i was sick
Tryna hold life together while my mind goes to shit
And i still failed anyway
Way it all ended left my mind in a broken state

Everything so right went so wrong
How can i leave my pain in these songs

Isolated from the folks i loved the most
I did yall wrong i know i did the f*cking most
Thoughts of suicide since i was eighteen
Hopin i would die and shit woul end like bad dream
I see y'all doing good and im happy y'all happy
Y'all deserve the best yall can have it with out me
1 attempt, 2 attempts, 3 attempts what the f*ck
Why this blade never cutting deep enough
F*ck it imma starve myself
That one almost did it then my teammates came to f*ckin help
Heart wants to live mind wants to die
Always in pain im crying why
Why do i even bother to try?
Why are these pains all in my life?
Why did i handled everything so wrong?
Why am i here writing this f*ckin song?

Everything so right went so wrong
How can i leave my pains in these songs