Joshua Ruan - Reckless Abandonment Lyrics

The lights were left up on red
Your voice was trailing instead
I tried to follow the lines
But you just left me behind
Couldn't shake the feeling, I cried
Gonna wake up with nothing inside
You said you loved me and cared
That voice is gone now I'm scared
To love again cuz I'm hurt
The effort, I put you up first
Never took the time or the day
To leave you dry, no delay
How did you lose it so fast
Thought that we'd definitely last
But you just cut it off there
And now I'm left with despair
The spear was stuck in my chest
Just wanted to give you the best
The best was leaving me alone
That's what I heard over the phone
I prayed that you would come back
Didn't believe that we had lacked
The bond, the strength, the soul to
Put a ring on, kiss you, I do
That'll never happen, it's sad
Your mom, she liked me, too bad
And I wonder what she had thought
Bout how you gave up and sought
But I hope you sought to heal first
Your soul, your mind, hear these words
I'll be here no matter what
Cuz I care, please give me your trust

I'm still confused why you left
Question if I had been deaf
Did I not listen to you?
Were you not telling the truth?
Your truth is lacking an answer
I fear what might just come after
After you left me here waiting
Abandoned, sat here degrading
But you're still here in my heart
Breaking, don't pull me apart
Laid waste to what we'd become
No pain cuz I'm calloused and numb
Still caring for your well-being
Wouldn't leave you though it is freeing
Using this song as a crutch
Without you I'm lacking your touch
And you
You told me, "sorry for leaving"
Thought the night would never happen
Yet now I'm watching you grieving
Alone and deceiving
You keep on lying to yourself
Inadequate's what you're thinking
You framed those lines on a shelf
In bed now it's twelve
I really made it less than it seems
But the truth is coming out
So I go out and I scream
I scream and I shout
All the things we couldn't be
If the night had never happened
To the dream we'd achieved

It's been a month with you gone
Since then I've steeled my resolve
A tale to tell once upon
A time to forgive and absolve
It's not that you did something wrong
It's just that I've waited so long
For something to last for forever
Not to move on or forget her
So when I look back on the nights
That we laughed so long together
I can't help but feel empty
With the void, will I ever
Find a love that will last
An unconditional measure
The kind of bond that I asked
An everlasting endeavor
I still give more than I take
So my glass is always hollow
I'm so prone to the heartbreak
But that's a hard pill to swallow
Cuz I'm the selfless kind of person
That'd take a bullet through the heart
So I'd love with unrelent
But still be trampled till I'm scarred
That's just part of this life
The path I've chosen to take
Cuz I know that I'm blessed
It's not a fluke or mistake
Though the journey you had ended
Wasn't bad in intent
And I don't blame you for a second
It's just reckless abandonment