Kasino Fluorescein - Triumph & Exhaustion Lyrics

I was scared that i'd kill myself
But i won't do it now
I kinda wanna see me do better than those who put me down
I was raised where nameless bullets constantly flew around
Was betrayed by the same ones who ask how i'm doing now
Where the f*ck is sequan when i need him
Now i don't need him
All these suicidal thoughts i'll continue to beat them
Can't let na na down by hearing i couldn't defeat them
Sent stephanie's daughter messages knowing she wouldn't read em
Most of my family just a waste of space
I let my fans take their place
If you ain't show up to my wedding
Don't show up to my f*cking wake
Ashley wanted to kill me in my sleep
Now i stay awake
All the love i gave to have mistakes rubbed in my f*cking face
Raised in the nineties taught to fight and never run
Got ptsd from some shit when i was young
They jumped me
Twenty four to one
I knew help would never come
Arguing with my big brother like
Give me a motherf*cking gun

Everybody got guns now
I never thought i'd see the day
The clowns took over
And they threw the real emcees away
It's like life gets worse
With every season that we pray
Wonder who i would have been if marquis
Never moved away
Clout chasers thinking they're clever
Seems they're coming together
My timeline ain't gonna make none of you rap better
I'm thirty seven the only competition is the younger me
If you don't write your own raps don't ever stand in front of me
I still don't have a kid
That's why they wanna be sons to me
Talk behind my back
Shit hits the fan and then they run to me
Who will i call when danger decides to come for me
One man army i'm right where i wanna be
The only woman i trust
Has my name on her breast
If you ain't built like that
Then keep my name off your breath
Same me never changed
Three letters to rep
Rhu until the day that i rest