KEEPER - Restless Lyrics

I carry so much self-hatred
I burned all of my innocence
You're better now
How can I just let you go?
Because you're everything that I think about
And the only thing I can't figure out
Spiraling down into this black hole
In due time I'll do better in the next life
I don't want to lose sight of possibilities
Even if it means I'll drown
If I never lied and I trusted your judgement
Instead of learning this shit the hard way
When I tried, I knew it was way too late
Put the past behind
Now you're moving along
And I'm just wasting away
And I'm so scared that I can't change
While I sleep through the day
So I stay inside waiting on the outside
Restless in my head again
Inside waiting on the outside
Restless in my head again thinking
Over and over memories just replay now
I'd do anything to escape from this place
How did I end up alone with nowhere to go?
Why can't I just be grateful?
My struggles sounding just like a broken record
If I'm not careful I know this can get way worse
Cut all my losses because there's nothing to save
Spiraling in this black hole
I told myself I'd never need anyone
And now I'm f*cking drowning
If I never lied and I trusted your judgement
Instead of learning this shit the hard way
When I tried I knew it was way too late
Put the past behind
Now you're moving along
And I'm just wasted away
And I'm so scared that I can't change
While I sleep through the day
So I stay inside waiting on the outside
Restless in my head again
Inside waiting on the outside
Restless in my head again thinking
I told myself I'd never need anyone
Once in a lifetime you get a chance to stand up and do what's right
Regardless if you get what you want
There's no telling our next chapter or if we're rewarded for if we fought
We had so much that we could do
Without you I don't feel aligned
I know it's not replaceable
And there's only space to grow
There's so much that I want to tell you
Proclamations left unsaid
But you seems better off it fell through
Put the past behind
Now you're moving along
And I'm just wasted away
And I'm so scared that I can't change
So I'll just stay the same and decay