[ Featuring Cam ]
I opened up my divine surf mailbox
And found a note with a frowny face
"What the f*ck," I said in disgrace
There's no place for racism
And my face has a new tastism
That I know will do the job
Now I'll convert to Judaism, alright
I ain't doing snow with Tom Morello
I ain't blowin' hookers, know now
I'm gonna take a shit
In the Billboard Top 200 Hits
Well, because the hookers aren't no bookers
I gotta get stadiums somehow
I've got so many onlookers
'Cause my junk is brown like a cow
I had too many Benadryl pills
I think there's spiders
F*ck me, I gotta go back to my roots
As a surf incel, oh yeah
My email is filled with porno
Rut-roe, I'll just eat my corno
On this surfboard I rented from
A dumb stoner who works at Digiorno
I was walking down the Boulevard
And I thought I was a real card
But then I frankly realized I got a hard-on
Bigger than Spongebob's backyard-on
On my genetalia I realized
It'll never fail ya
Because it opens junk mail every day
To the point where I ask it, "Are you gay?"
