Kick-Knowledge - Falling Lyrics

Falling, somewhere I can hide
Tell me why, tell me why
Falling, somewhere I can hide
Tell me why, tell me why
Where should I begin
I'll start when I was ten
A little boy with a heart that was bigger than him
Oblivious to a world that was so full of sin
A light in his eyes and purity in his grin
Used to play football in the yard with his friends
Little did he know his childhood was about to end
A sea of trouble where no help would ever get sent
Yeah, I guess that's when his real troubles started to begin
I remember Christmas morning, we all down at the tree
A day that used to bring us happiness and all of that glee
But my father just sat there staring at his feet
The look on his face, desperation and defeat
Thought id make it better, I grabbed his present from me
Gave it to him, he nodded and he put in the seat
The hole in his heart I was trying to reach
But 22 years of marriage just got thrown in the street
I remember the day came putting his stuff in the car
He said that he loved me and that he wouldn't be far
I remember clenching my teeth white knuckle sweaty palms
As I watched him pull away and turn up out the yard
The cut ran deep leaving a scar on my heart
Went and sat on my bed started falling apart
Id never cry again tears locked in the dark
Proceeded to turn the key then went and threw away the lock
Older brother went with Dad older sisters on her own
Me and little brother left alone while the house was getting sold
First thing to go was lights, then went the dial tone
All the while Mama working, trying to find us another home
Ended up at aunts, sharing a cot on a basement floor
The days when our food fit in a coffee table drawer
Innocence lost seeing things I never should of saw
No one ever noticed the little boy was about to fall
Falling, somewhere I can hide
Tell me why, tell me why
Falling, somewhere I can hide
Tell me why, tell me why
Mama went to work in the morning like she always did
Aunty would throw us out the house and wouldn't let us in
No food and no water, couldn't go inside to piss
Id take my brother and hang with the neighbors kids
Those kids got lunch so I was hoping we'd get a couple chips
Mom was pretty fly so she went and got a different grip
Dad was on the rebound and hes talking to a different chick
Fights about who was gonna take us on the weekend
Showed me how my existence became a nuisance
Everybody concerned with theirs, they just wanna do shit
Had to forgive all their failures and excuses
Learned talk was cheap, better watch what theyre doing
Rely on no one, all my hero's were just humans
Me as a child stumbling around my life's ruins
Praying lord forgive them for they know not what they doing
Never letting them know the things I was abused with
Learned real quick that nothing in life is fair
Contemplating taking my life, anybody really care
But I knew they were weak and they needed me there
So I didn't off myself to save them the despair
My burdens were my own, but theirs it was shared
When God came to me, that's when he became real
Told me to trust in him and to never show fear
Told me he loved me, all of heavens shedding tears
Falling, somewhere I can hide
Tell me why, tell me why
Falling, somewhere I can hide
Tell me why, tell me why
Fast forward years later to the man I am today
Still got my mama's back, many years in the fray
I used to disappear and she would wonder where i went and laid
All those sleepless nights she stayed awake and she prayed
We weathered the storm but saw the price that was paid
Stayed there for my fam when others walked away
Ran the streets with many clicks and rode with different gangs
Losing friends to that murder started at an early age
I'm sorry dear Mama for all them early grays
Wish I could turn back the clock and go a different way
Always carried my weight but my heart grew colder
Tired of being there for others then getting the cold shoulder
Carrying their weight like a sack full of boulders
The things I should of said but never ever told ya
Gave all of myself so yall could have peace
But when I came to the well there was nothing for me to drink
Got rid of everybody, back scabs from back stabs
All those that I loved strung out or toes tagged
All the times I phoned and never got calls back
Turned to the bottle, plenty whiskey and broke glass
I aint mad, I'm just explaining the reasons why
I seem cold to the world and seldom ever cry
I know you did your best and I know that you tried
But relying on myself is the only way I survived
Back then I was 10, but now I'm 35
Different levels of loss like why my father have to die
Breaks my heart knowing hearing this will you cry
Shit on by people, loving too much my only crime
No one appreciates anybody until their gone
Hoping you can get the message so I wrote it in this song
Tired of being told that all my feelings are wrong
When I was the only one holding it down all along
Not trying to hurt feeling but if the shoes gets to fitting
Might wonder where I've been, truths in the description
Getting some things off my chest so don't start tripping
A bleeding pen and a pad were often the only things that listened