KXV - firstborn Lyrics

Never meant to be the villain I swear
Know that I don't show it much but I care
Feel like something's taken over my head
I just want to make it out this nightmare
White lies all I tell myself now
I'm fine but I'm really not now
Who am I, don't even know now
Wanna right my wrongs, don't know how
Every mirror got a stranger looking back at me
But he said I'm the one that made him then he didn't wanna leave
What'd you mean you had to protect us
You're the worst of me
Hate that you're a part of me
So am I a
Good person or bad one
I been, so lost in a wrong cause
Will I, forgive all of my flaws
Can I, revive who I once was
Tell me
Tryna find a meaning to feel little better
Maybe there's a reason that I gotta be the one to suffer
Maybe I took all the bullets so that no-one else would take it
Maybe if I see the bright side then I wouldn't wanna change it
Alright, yeah
That's when I realized, yeah
Firstborns pay a price, since
Parents the first time, yeah
Don't know what is right
It is what it is, I feel a relief
My younger of kin, didn't turn into me
Mistakes didn't repeat, absorbed all the heat
But I'm still holding in, I gotta release
Never meant to be the villain I swear
Know that I don't show it much but I care
Feel like something's taken over my head
I just want to make it out this nightmare
Wanna change but I keep falling back to
My old ways that don't bear any good fruit
Why does trauma remind me of tattoos
To remove feels like losing a part of you
Growing up I felt that home was like Orwell's world
I realised that my life was easier keeping to myself
You can't take what you cannot see, they
Couldn't take any more from me
Switched up, every day in the dark
Built walls all around, never laid down my guard
No gaze or regard, a vacant façade
All ways to my heart, got broken apart
Now, all these habits got no purpose
But I'm struggling to return it
Back to normal, what is normal
All I know is how to end a conversation out of fear to open up
Wanna see my world, you gotta earn my trust
I'm grown but the past still haunts me
Don't mean to be rude, I'm sorry
I learnt to need myself only
Alone but I'm never lonely
What is light without a little bit of dark
To provide a chance to shine for a sky full of stars
Know it's crazy but, if I had to choose
I'd go through it again, so you can be you
Never meant to be the villain I swear
Know that I don't show it much but I care
Feel like something's taken over my head
I just want to make it out this nightmare
Never meant to be the villain I swear
Know that I don't show it much but I care
Feel like something's taken over my head
I just want to make it out this nightmare