La'kip - A.M Lyrics

I always felt ghost, never seen em, spirits heavy
Always felt alone, cause the shadows never left me
They always visit, never felt like they came to get me
Guidance & Protection, No vibes that's feeling deadly

Once upon a time, I met an angel that taught me to see
He saw me, told me, showed me
My greatest strength was to show the whole me
Started this journey of getting to know me, the soul me
Discovering the solely reason I hide is cause a sinners song ain't holy
Realizing I touch myself at night cause abstinence is harder when you lonely

The first time I asked my mom for a hug, I was 25
That same year, had an epiphany and I realized
All this time, I been a zombie, I ain't been living, just been alive
Going through the motions, awaiting my turn to die
Surrounded by death, I existed, Traumatized
I blamed myself, buried the tears deep inside
They became something else, I internally died

The loneliness is so loud, it's so much pain around
False hopes and silent cries, I never make a sound
This is unbearable, This ain't working, I'm not happy
Why I gotta be abstinent, when I'm f*cking for me?
I mean, I'm coming for free, bust it down prophetically
Authentic and blunt, but just a little o.c
She had to acknowledge the stereotype she came to be
Because I tried to do what's best for me, & still self-fulfilled the prophecy
These taught ways of who to be, Where I feel worthless and guilty
Ashamed I just came, this can't be healthy
My rules, my game; but I think I failed me

Let me explore my shallow ways
Like my concern for dick size before their names
Or his, or him, and that one set of twins
I definitely found out that a few was friends
Objectified most or all of em, But who's counting
I made sure I got mines, but in love, I'm doubtful