Laniidae - (Dis)communicate Lyrics

Convinced myself of everything I wanted
I told myself it would be easy to change
I thought it
Wouldn't take much more than discipline
I think I got it
But now the walls are closing in
And I can't seem to stop them
Where has the inspiration gone
And have I tried to follow
I think it creeped out in the cold
While I was hitting bottles
Used up adrenaline
And melancholy lovers taught me
That when the scenery decays
It's time to f*cking leave

It's time to wake up from this hell
That is constantly spreading beneath these thirsty veins
The darkness never gives
Not like it ever did
While I've been searching for meaning
You haven't gave a shit

So don't think that I give a damn
When you talk about
All of the things I could've been
You don't live in my skin
You never f*cking did
Your sympathy is lost

So how low can I sink myself into this
Cycle of degeneration
Am I kidding myself
I don't think you could ever help me through it
But thanks for all the empty words
That I've already heard
I carry all my failures around
I know that they are weighing me down
I wish that I could face everything
Instead of always looking for a way out

Don't wanna think about the mess I'm in
Don't wanna talk about
How I've been
Nothing matters
Cause we all lose in the end
Waste my time
Not much to say about a wasted life
I'm having trouble trying to sleep at night
The shadows in my room
They talk just like you

I'm sick of staring at the walls
Sick of waiting
While my dreams are lying dead outside the door
Opportunity is bleeding all over the floor
And I can't get out of bed
F*cked up
I knew I'd end up here again
Treading water with these ropes around my limbs
I'm jumping out my skin
This never f*cking ends
You don't have to tell me
I know I'm lost

And you don't have to tell me
I know that I'm making this hard
Maybe with distance between us
We both will be better off
I've walked for hours
And still don't know when I am going to bed
There's not enough space between
Streetlights to clear out my head

I can't take back anything I said
I meant
Every word of it
We won't end up like this again

End this

One more time
Don't wanna think about
The mess I'm in
Don't wanna talk about
How I've been
Nothing matters
Cause we all lose in the end
Waste my time
Not much to say about a wasted life
I'm having trouble
Trying to sleep at night

The shadows in my room
They talk just like you