If I could be the one they love
Then I could make them understand
Hiatus calls
I answer with a broken finger
Hanging on to nothing with my palms
Break through the wall
Find everything I ever needed
Why would I ever leave my house?
If I could push aside my life
Then I could please them all the time
I feel a wave pushing me toward conversation
Bars and porches
Smoking somewhere else
And in my haze
I replay all my worst encounters
Why am I torturing myself?
If I could leave you better than I found you
Then I would tear my life apart just to be around you
Just to please you
When I'm alone, I have to face the music
Ears are bleeding from the dissonance
When I get home, there's too much to unpack
I need to leave again