Leeanna Allen - Outgrowing You Lyrics

I'm outgrowing you
No, I have no apologies for this new posture I've taken
And no, you cannot convince me this time that somehow I'm the one mistaken
So sure, you can sit there with your arms folded in confidence
That someday soon my loins would yearn for your devilish influence
But let me assure you, that over my life you no longer have relevance
I'm outgrowing you

I'm outgrowing you
Every lie I had to tell to rock myself to sleep
Every thought of you that has ever sickened me
Because you're big and stronger
You think that it's okay to take what wasn't yours in the first place?
Struggling to outgrow the weight of your body on my skin has damaged my relationships
And no, it is not okay to continue because you're in
There was no consent to your penetrating
My thoughts and my choice you stole
My peace and my memories, thwarted by your hold
Every time you spoke
It made giants of my limitations and added to my retardation
But, in spite of your plots and your schemes against me
I have eagle potential and sky vision
I'm outgrowing you

I'm outgrowing you
The fear associated with being a victim
And the foreign-ness of violated skin
Comfort in silence doesn't exist
It keeps me in subjection to your fancy and whim
But I refuse to always be your victim
Just a casuality in your rampage? Collateral damage?
No! I will tell everyone
Everyone with an ear to listen
Until I get the right help from the right persons
And if needs be, you are locked away in prison
Your violations will not go without punishment
And your abuse will not be my addiction
I'm outgrowing you

I'm outgrowing you
The worry of not receiving the support you've given
Finances, material things, the things that you think keep me coming
If you had told me that your support was loaded I would have refused
From the beginning
Whatever need I may have for you in my life isn't worth this suffering
My God is bigger, my God is better, my God is badder than anything
You could come up with
And in case you didn't know, the cattle on a thousand hills are his
And if he feeds the common sparrow, he will provide for this child created in his image
So you know what, I'm outgrowing you

But how dare you
Think that its okay to touch what God intended to be holy
And how dare you
Justify your fetishes and wicked intentions with the word horny
Look, you may have hurt me
But this hurt will not be the depth nor width of my story
I am not your slave! You don't own me!
Pardon me if for one minute I forgot my identity
God is my father and heaven is my home
So move out my way, I'm taking back control
Who I am is wrapped up and tangled up in who he called me to be
And that is not to be abused
That is not to be silenced
That is not to be manipulated
That is not to take your sexual violence
So God, forgive me
If for one minute I forgot who I was and groped in darkness
I need your wisdom, your courage and your spirit to get out of this mess
I've fallen too along the way and that I freely confess
But dear abuser
Get out the place!
You have been overthrown
And need I reiterate for your constipated conscience
You've just been outgrown