Went down to the grocery store
To get myself some mix
Opened up the cooler
Grabbed me some Cool Whip
Took it home and spread it on
Some uncooked pancakes
Got so high I couldn't fly
And had to take a break
From my cool whip
My cool whip
My cool whip
My cool whip
Rolled into town
Feelin' pretty brave
Got f*cked up/went downtown and lost my MP3 player
At a rave
Tried to play guitar when I
Wasn't high on life
Got lost in a parking lot
And couldn't find my wife
My cool whip
My cool whip
My cool whip
My cool whip
My cool whip
My cool whip