Always Have (Never Will Again) Video (MV)

I'm pushing forward again
But misspoke words lead to missteps
And I end up taking two steps back
Lose any trace of a path
Guess I can't run from the past
As if none of this was built to last
I'm so sick of the dial tone
Every time that you pick up the phone
Poison choices I hold in
For fear of another bad hit
If I don't exhale I'll explode
But if this might blow I'd rather choke
On explanations of why I haven't been my f*cking self
But I still expect to get a leg up without any help
This can't be good for my health
All this diagnosing myself
Stitching my mouth shut
I miss feeling okay
Just blame it on the drugs
Two months was okay
But now it's not enough
There's no end in sight I'll
Just have toughen up
I'll survive on good faith
Till then I'll bite my tongue
Poison choices I hold in
For fear of another bad hit
If I don't exhale I'll explode
But if this might blow I'd rather choke
On explanations of why I haven't been my f*cking self
But I still expect to get a leg up without any help
This can't be good for my health
All this diagnosing myself
Taking every lesson learned
Ignoring signs taking wrong turns
Stitching my mouth shut