Lil CharChar - Cream Cheese Bagel Lyrics

I went to the black market, I bought a kid
His name is Fig, he's really big
People call him chunky, I call him hunky
He's a fat monkey, his face is really bumpy
He needs the CeraVe, I have to go take a wee
Fig peed in a tree, he went wee
Where is Fig? I do not see
He drove off in his Dodge Challenger

I drove down the street, I saw Pete
He was kissin' a dude, it looked just like my kid
I locked him away, he's now gay
I didn't feed him for a while, now he's a fat crocodile
Let's talk about Fig, he's a fat pig
I locked him in a cage full of more pigs
There was a girl pig, but he picked the boy pig
He is gay, ha, pig

Went back to the black market, I bought a pillowcase
In the pillowcase was a kid named Mace
He had an ugly face, he had no grace
He was really slow-paced, just like Fig, the fat pig
I saw Fig on my favorite show, it's called Pawn Stars
He was selling his Dodge Charger that's worth a lot of gold bars
He used those gold bars to pay me back at K-Mart
I kidnapped him again and sold him on the black market

Ayy, it's Little CharChar here (Ahh, doo-doo-da-doog, ahh, doo-doo-da-doog)
I just wanna say that Fig is actually a pig (Ahh, doo-doo-da-doog, doo, da-da-da-daa)
He's not actually a child

I went to the black market, I bought a kid
His name is Fig, he's really big
People call him chunky, I call him hunky
He's a fat monkey, his face is bumpy
He needs the CeraVe, I have to take a wee
Fig peed in a tree, he went wee
Where is Fig? I do not see
He drove off in his Dodge Challenger