Liz Wilson - To Have My Own Garden Lyrics

With all of our friends upstairs
You leave me to see them
And I sit alone with the TV on silent

I sink to the floor
In the pile of your laundry
With stains that I'll never get out

We sit on the floor
Of the hostel in Berlin
Refusing to say what we mean

The words you said seconds ago
Eat away at me
Etching themselves in my brain

You're done talking to me
So you take a shower
And wash me away down the drain

I look at myself in the mirror
And I wonder
What God can be seen in my face

All I remember now
That we haven't talked in 5 years
Is the way you looked at me
As if I were nothing
A thing you could make disappear

You get to move on
And you get to forget
Because what else do you have to do

Is there are god in the mirror when you see it
Or did he abandon you too

I spent the months after it falling in love
Just to convince myself that I could be enough
Just to convince myself that I wasn't the shirt on your floor

All I remember now
That we haven't talked in 5 years
Is the way you looked at me
As if I were nothing
A thing you could make disappear

I thought I was Lilith
Your soiled companion
Or maybe a bit of your rib

You were so worried
That you would just hurt me but
Maybe you already did

I am so lucky
To have my own garden
For apples to grow like they did

But I must be sick
Cuz I look back and miss it
That summer with you like a kid

All I remember now
That we haven't talked in 5 years
Is the way you looked at me
As if I were nothing
A thing you could make disappear