Lol Kello - ChildHood Trauma Lyrics

I can try forgiving but its not gone be the same
The shit that I in vision you would think that I'm insane
You pressing all my buttons but you never on the game
Don't try to take it back cause you had never took the blame
You the one to blame you the reason i cant chill
You the one to blame why my brain is stuck on kill
You the one to blame why I'm feening for them pills
You the one to blame why I never try to feel
You smiling in my face but I can tell that it be fake
You the one I cant replace but now yo name is by a snake
Bitch I hear you telling stories you wont say it to my face
Only woman I call bitch only person that I hate
I been burning my respect for you
No longer a collect for you
I'm in disconnect from you
I see I was a check to you
I was the neglect to you
But you was on my pedestal
This is a direct to you
Forgiveness aint protecting you

You posed to be my moms and thats the sad shit
The mothaf*cka' I'm posed to put all my trust in
The one that brought me into this f*cked up world
But the main mothaf*cka' doing me dirt is my moms?
All I ever wanted was that motherly love
But you the reason I grew up wit so much pain
The reason I been hurting but cant shed a tear

You the reason when I cry you don't ever see a tear
The reason I be high cause you was never here
We never had a tie cause you was leading me with fear
I tried to f*cking die I was tryna disappear
My father was the one that held it down when it got tough
He was standing on his 10 even when he had enough
Till his body gave it up his angels called him on his bluff
Every lesson that he taught me thats the reason that I'm tough
Started talking to myself i see I'm better on my own
I call you by yo name cause all the shit that you had shown
That title that you claim you can claim it on yo own
Bitch don't hit my f*cking line cause I'll correct you on yo tone
Don't be saying I'm yo son cause everything you did is wrong
Got me fighting wit myself so I just pour it every song
It been nights I almost lost but I just pray to keep me strong
I been getting close to god cause you had left me on my own
I'm just battling my anger cause its all I ever known
It's like
I know i only get one mother
I know i should forgive & forget
I tried
I gave you that chance but once again you proved me correct

I was thinking that you sorry but you not
I get hurt get I cant stop
Everything I put my mind I'm making sure I hit the top
You was always in my way but I'm not drowning in yo hate
I can really hurt yo feelings make this feeling f*cking swap
All I wanted was yo love but every chance you made it rot
Only mother I can have but thats too bad that she a op
Tried to talk to like a adult but you was pocking till I popped
We can leave it where it at don't hit my phone cause now you blocked
A topic for the ones that know what its like
I grew up thinking it was sum wrong with me
Like I was the problem
In school seeing everybody with they moms
Everybody having that love hate relationship
But mines was different
I never felt the love
Only hate I can try forgiving but its not gone be the same
The shit that I in-vision you would think that I'm insane
You pressing all my buttons but you never on the game
Don't try to take it back cause you had never took the blame
You the one to blame you the reason i cant chill
You the one to blame why my brain is stuck on kill
You the one to blame why I'm feening for them pills
You the one to blame why I never try to feel
You smiling in my face but I can tell that it be fake
You the one I cant replace but now yo name is by a snake
Bitch I hear you telling stories you wont say it to my face
Only woman I call bitch only person that I hate
I been burning my respect for you
No longer a collect for you
I'm in disconnect from you
I see I was a check to you
I was the neglect to you
But you was on my pedestal
This is a direct to you
Forgiveness aint protecting you
You posed to be my moms and thats the sad shit
The mothaf*cka' I'm posed to put all my trust in
The one that brought me into this f*cked up world
But the main mothaf*cka' doing me dirt is my moms?
All I ever wanted was that motherly love
But you the reason I grew up wit so much pain
The reason I been hurting but cant shed a tear

You the reason when I cry you don't ever see a tear
The reason I be high cause you was never here
We never had a tie cause you was leading me with fear
I tried to f*cking die I was tryna disappear
My father was the one that held it down when it got tough
He was standing on his 10 even when he had enough
Till his body gave it up his angels called him on his bluff
Every lesson that he taught me thats the reason that I'm tough
Started talking to myself I see I'm better on my own
I call you by yo name cause all the shit that you had shown
That title that you claim you can claim it on yo own
Bitch don't hit my f*cking line cause I'll correct you on yo tone
Don't be saying I'm yo son cause everything you did is wrong
Got me fighting wit myself so I just pour it every song
It been nights I almost lost but I just pray to keep me strong
I been getting close to god cause you had left me on my own
I'm just battling my anger cause its all I ever known
It's like
I know I only get one mother
I know I should forgive & forget
I tried
I gave you that chance but once again you proved me correct

I was thinking that you sorry but you not
I get hurt get I cant stop
Everything I put my mind I'm making sure I hit the top
You was always in my way but I'm not drowning in yo hate
I can really hurt yo feelings make this feeling f*cking swap
All I wanted was yo love but every chance you made it rot
Only mother I can have but thats too bad that she a op
Tried to talk to like a adult but you was pocking till I popped
We can leave it where it at don't hit my phone cause now you blocked
A topic for the ones that know what its like
I grew up thinking it was sum wrong with me
Like I was the problem
In school seeing everybody with they moms
Everybody having that love hate relationship
But mines was different
I never felt the love
Only hate