Luke Jenison - Monologue 3 Lyrics

3 years ago
I used to have to fight with my mind to make myself get out of bed
On bad days I'd lay there for 24 hours stuck in a cycle of self-hatred
On good days I could bottle it all up
And make everyone believe I didn't have a care in the world
I could keep this happy persona for months
Fooling all of those close to me
But when I was alone, I couldn't bottle it up anymore
I would explode into panic attacks
I would drive in my car alone sobbing and hyperventilating
I didn't think I belonged and thought I was a wimp and not a real man
When I finally approached my parents about everything, I expected backlash
But instead was met with comfort
With the help of my family and friends
I developed coping mechanisms to slow these bursts of anxiety
That 3 years ago seems like a distant past
I still struggle with general anxiety and occasionally have panic attacks
But I now know even if I fall back into the cycle
I have people here for me to pull me back out