Maella - If Only Lyrics

I am scared of
Scared of
What I'll find
Living
Living
In a toxic mind
Kinda deadly
To my self esteem
Can you hear me?

And it makes me kinda lonely
If only, If only, If only i'd change
I try but then there's only grey around me
If only, If only, If only i'd change

If only if
If only if
If only if
If only if

Go Ahead
Why
Don't you
Punish me
Cause silence
Brings out
Brings out
The worst in me

If only if
If only if
If only if
If only if

It's like a drummer is beating inside my chest
I used to think that a healer's a cigarette
I only want a single thought
Just give me a single thought
Just give me a single thought
Without regret

It's like a drummer is beating inside my chest
I used to think that a healer's a cigarette
I only want a single thought
Just give me a single thought
Just give me a single thought
Without regret

But it makes me kinda lonely
When there's only grey around me

Yeah it makes me kinda lonely
When there's only grey around me
Yeah