Marley Brown - what i'm afraid of Lyrics

Have I become what I'm afraid of
Have I become what I despise
Have I turned into my nightmare
Right here in front of our eyes
Calling me up, here we are now
Building me up when I'm breaking you down
I'd be a better person if I only knew how
Someone you'd pick in every crowd
Push you away, break you apart
Cause maybe it'll help my shattered heart
Always been the problem this isn't the start
Always been the toy that you discard
Have I become what I'm afraid of
Have I become what I despise
Have I turned into my nightmare
Right here in front of our eyes
Cause everyone sees right through me
But they only see to my facade
I can deal with ripping apart projections
But can't let them see that I'm flawed
I'd rather break myself to pieces
Than let anyone do it first
I'm drowning myself trying to stay afloat
And dying just brings out my worst
Doing my best, kissing you right
Sleeping beside you happy at night
But nightmares always come out and bite
Worrisome thoughts are hard to fight
Trying so hard, staying so strong
Till something too heavy comes along
When I try to fight it it's already gone
And I end up thinking that it belongs
Have I become what I'm afraid of
Have I become what I despise
Have I turned into my nightmare
Right here in front of our eyes
Cause everyone sees right through me
But they only see to my facade
I can deal with ripping apart projections
But can't let them see that I'm flawed
I'd rather break myself to pieces
Than let anyone do it first
I'm drowning myself trying to stay afloat
And dying just brings out my worst
Dying just brings out my worst
Dying just brings out my worst
Oh, dying just brings out my worst
I don't mean
To lash out
I'm out of
Control
I'm trying
To find myself
In the traits that I stole
But who am I
Cause it's taking its toll
Oh, who am I
Cause I've gotta know
Cause everyone sees right through me
But they only see to my facade
I can deal with ripping apart projections
But can't let them see that I'm flawed
I'd rather break myself to pieces
Than let anyone do it first
I'm drowning myself trying to stay afloat
And dying just brings out my worst