Melancholy Club - Delete This Lyrics

I'm getting so sick
Can't find dreams anywhere
That's okay cause
When I do I'm always
Finding my nightmares
I'm getting scared of
All the thoughts
You wouldn't find in me
So I'll cough up my lungs
Until I stop trying to be

Better than I could have been
I'm a glutton for regret
Always reaching for a bar
That no one ever set
And I'm perfectly content
Never feeling anything again
Feeling numb is better than
The migraine that is
Being broken

I've seen a shrink for this
But all my problems aren't
Any smaller
Don't wanna live in ignorance
But the bliss is to short
To even bother

Don't wanna be
A disappointment
I'm way too weak
To let down
The whole thing just feels
So disjointed
I'm not sure I'm gonna
Figure out how

I'm starting to swallow
A solution for the thoughts
I found thinking is the reason
Why my blood will never clot
If there's an antidote for all
My Poisonous memories
Take the whole thing
Waterboard me
Never ever let me breathe

I'd rather be forgetful
Than a human DVR
I could pause rewind
Fast-forward record
And never go to far
I'm bleeding on the inside
Just because I can't forget
About the things that made me something more
I will never let this go

I can never let this go
I can never let this go

I've seen a shrink for this
But all my problems
Aren't any smaller
Don't wanna live in ignorance
But the bliss is to short
To even bother

Don't wanna be
A disappointment
I'm way too weak to let down
The whole thing just feels
So disjointed
I'm not sure I'm gonna
Figure out how

You're there for yourself
And I'm not for me
I'm tired of writing all this
Useless poetry
You're there for yourself
And I'm not for me
I'm tired of being broken
I just wanna be