When I feel terminally cringe
Or stupid, ugly, and unhinged
I just remember you're my friend
And then I feel okay again
Though sorely lacking your presence
You make living less unpleasant
My affection never lessens
For your smart, strong, stellar essence
And though I bug you unprovoked
O Mellie, out you're never grossed
Life is one long, hard, dirty joke
And laughing with you helps me cope
So bend over and I'll show you
How happy I am to know you