Mommy Pants - My First Pet Lyrics

When I was four I got a cat
In a box for my birthday
How cool is that
I got to name him 'cause he was mine
I picked Fiesta, so we had a good time
He would scare me in the middle of the night
Clawing on my wall when I had no sight
Though he was the cutest f*cking bitch
But then one day we had a sitch
Started sneezing way too much, it really sucked
Went to the doctor and my life got f*cked
He said boy you're allergic to your cat
I said that's gay, I'm not cool with that
My mama gave the kitty to a family friend
Though family, I never saw him again
It's pr'stupid 'cause they put him outdoors
Not long after he was hit by a car
I still found out about it despite being four

Sometime later when I was ten
My parents introduced me to a cat again
Turns out I had been healed
Outgrew my allergies and could finally feel
Little brother named it Jellybean, I was down for that
It had nine babies after getting fat
One year later my parents got a divorce
I stayed with my dad 'cause he had the cats of course