Nate Strider - Self Doubting Myself Lyrics

Why do I spend
All of my time
Making my music
I do not know why
That doesn't make any sense
Well I
Don't really care
My life is a mess
It's all in the air
My brain has been scrambled
It's everywhere
I was made in a lab
Born in a liar
Finding my heart
I do not know where
That thing has gone
More over there
Writing my songs
Can't right my wrongs
Making an album I'm taking too long
Think to myself
Whom I tryna impress
Fifty monthly listeners on Spotify
Thump in my chest
Skip to the next
I'm feeling less
Stuck in my bed
Run out of pens
It's all in head
All in my head
Sick of thinking
I'm sick of this life
Taking my memories
Wish they could die
Biggest regret is
I never tried
I'd tell you I'm happy
But that is a lie
Looping through
Every day like a vine
I don't smile
But I grin through my teeth
I never act
Like it's gettin to me
Look to the brighter days
Wish I could see
Wish I could see
I wish my mom was a little more proud
Thoughts in my head are getting too loud
I need to stand up I'm stuck on the ground
Open my mouth
Scream and I shout
Imma just drown
Can't hear me scream
When there's nothing around
I have been lost
For wat too long
For once in my life
I wish I was found
I got no friends
That'll support me
I show em my music
They act like it's borin
Hate how their input
Starts with a warnin
Inside of my heart
These lyrics are forming
If I don't work
Then I'm better off dead
Ha
Call that citing my sources
You are not chained to the place
That you're born in
I have been messin with
Intricate forces
You do not like my new sound
Ha
I have messin with orchestra
Workin on my passion
Wanna be a rapper
Livin in the moment
Never thinkin bout the after
They focused on a mansion
I'm focused on my talent
Building always craftin
Nothing really matters
Back of my class
Wearing all black
Writing my rap
They told me I can't
I think that I can
I know that I can
I was born with enormous balls
I can't fit in my pants
I wanna breathe
I smoke a cigarette
Wanna be myself
Rappin like NF
I wanna be the best
I know that I'm not
But before I die
You can't say
I never tried
I'm always self
Doubting myself
I do not need
Anyone's helps
Is that me
Or the demon talking
You'll never find out
I'm living in hell
I'm always self
Doubting myself
I do not need
Anyone's helps
Is that me
Or the demon talking
You'll never find out
I'm living in hell