Calloused Video (MV)

I'm livid
Bitter, bitter
Are you never overwhelmed by a want why not
I reckon
I cut the mustard
So why am I defined by how I tangle with my knots
I bitch, I brood, I twist, I stew
Out to set the mood of every room
Am I refined as oil crude
I relish my space but loathe it too

I wonder what has me so calloused and rigid
I make due ain't I self sufficient
But the sip never seemed so lustrous
Can one not earn their own guiltless self destruction

So I'm brimmin
With an anguish
They say a better batter would hit us home by now
Quick sinkin
In the clatter
Do I get my hopes up just to watch them beat down?
I will not be the victim o
Of such wishful thinkin any longer
No siree, consider me all tame expectations from this point onwards

I wonder what shall we name this disorder
A condition grown too obtuse to bear
Give it to me straight doctor what is this
And he calls it the Foie Gras Antithesis
Since it seems no ism fits my persistently inconsistent shit

Funeral circuit
Circa 2020
People keep passin and have been
Any was plenty, enough already
I've now seen enough to satisfy
What prior I could not define
The close call quantified
Dependency rationalized
The cycle plays no favorites
Low dopamine city, reduce, reuse, regret
So how long can I keep cheating on my fentanyl test
Sure everybody does it but we do it to death