I'm Not Video (MV)

I'm not a pretty girl with pretty problems
A pool of whorl and a f*cked up conscience
I talk too much and I'm a wobbly walker
Not skinny enough and I'm a poor man stalker

Can't write a song, there's always better
A pet of wrong, can't do cold weather
I grew up whining, didn't find that it stopped
'Cause when my minds declining I think of everything I'm not

When nothing more seems to ease the pain
I become a whore to coastal airplanes
When not even sleep can rid the pain
I become a whore to coastal airplanes

I talk weird in my head, in my head I talk weird
Does it matter what I'm saying if I say it to a mirror?
Holding a life without dropping it all
Not knowing how to break through

I'm not ungrateful but I do complain a lot
Scared of missing out on life but never showing up on time
I don't dress up nice, unless there's a reason
Critter of the night, mood change with the season

Like a little kid, can't decipher one's intentions
I get lonely quick, from those I love I crave attention
When I start feeling distant I burn my thoughts on the page
'Cause who the f*ck wants to listen to what I have to say

When nothing more seems to ease the pain
I become a whore to coastal airplanes
When not even sleep can rid the pain
I become a whore to coastal airplanes

I talk weird in my head, in my head I talk weird
Does it matter what I'm saying if I say it to a mirror?
Holding a life without dropping it all
Not knowing how to break through

They tell me I'm crazy, maybe not the only one
Tryna find other persons who have a reason for their tongue
It's a body I'm living in but my soul has different plans
Acting out of world as if it's not from where it stands
And they don't understand, no they just don't get it
Not made for a man, no I just don't fit it
And I reason with the voices that tell me to be human
Cover abnormalities to make them feel less useless

I don't want a brain that makes me sane
If it takes away the question game
Don't want a brain that makes me sane
If it takes away the question game

They tell me to know
Myself from a ghost
So I try and I try
But it's hard to describe
The uncertainty of
The fact that I'm alive

They tell me to know