October Evans - A Song for Rose Lyrics

The day that my heart couldn't take the pain
I wanted to fade away into the rain
Couldn't take the insanity
Couldn't take your lack of empathy
And here I am on another dark stage letting it out
And I wonder if you can see where the f*ck I am now

In a mad, transphobic world so cold
I confided in a friend that left me all alone
Burnt like a moth to a flame
And I'm the one who's victim-shamed
You never understood my Post Traumatic Devils
You gave up on me when I needed you the most
Now here I am, wondering what could've been
Now here I am, wondering what we could've done to stay here together in the end

I guess I don't know how to talk to you
I'm not sure if I can still trust you
I wish I could've done something to keep you in my life
You walked away so transphobic - I can't trust your lies
Your neoliberal viewpoints are so distorted
Now here we are, face to face, and I think I have something to say

In a mad, transphobic world so cold
I confided in a friend that left me all alone
Burnt like a moth to a flame
And I'm the one who's victim-shamed
You never understood my Post Traumatic Devils
You gave up on me when I needed you the most
Now here I am, wondering what could've been
Now here I am, wondering what we could've done to stay here together in the end

After everything I've been through
Now I realize it was my trauma that pushed you away
After everything I've said and done
Now I realize it was my walls that kept you outside looking in
I have been burned so much in the past I thought you were my friend
And I am sitting here writing this song, trying to make amends
I pushed you away
I screamed and made you run away
All because my Post Traumatic devils kept me caged for so long
And they never let me out to let you inside to see what an amazing person I've been all along...

In a mad, transphobic world so cold
I confided in you while you told me to hold on and never let go
I've been drowning forever, suffocating in Depression
And I'm the one who should've done the right thing to let you in
My Gender Dysphoric eyes couldn't see you in a better light
And I'm feeling like suicide
Now here I am, ready to open myself up and let you in again
Will you still be here tomorrow and walk beside me as a friend?

I'm sorry that you saw the worst in me
I'm sorry that my Post Traumatic Devils are killing me
I'm sorry you couldn't see me smile anymore
And I'm sorry I have given up and couldn't hold on
Forgive me for letting go of my pain by falling away
I'll see you on the other side someday

I can't f*cking do this anymore
I'm sorry, Rose
Goodbye...