[ Featuring the Aglets ]
I've, for five weird years, had a white speck
A slight bump a light lump under my right pec
And if I've steered clear of a mic check
I'll be terse I was averse to being liked yet
It came into focus in the shower
That's when I first noticed and lost all my power
If I had no external locus, it was now or never
Was it tumorous or was it cancer
Rumors were numerous, but there wasn't any answer
It was just some lesion with no real reason
Did my nevus just arrive, or did I get a disease in some foreign countries
Belize, did you do this to me while I was swimming around
At first I was terrified
Scared for the worst, but carnal thirst made those fears subside
So I swallowed my dreams and I fallowed my pride
Though I didn't think my lovers could get accustomed to it
It was hard to get my flirt on; I kept my shirt on to do it
And though my cœur was hidden under covers, they could see right through it
Two schools
Four cities
Six girls later
Ate myself into overdrive
With a final thought, might as well not be alive
Because if I can't choose how I don't survive
I can at least be obese and see to how I die
So I holed up and I held out
Filled up my folders with bucket lists and self-doubt
Wondering if I were older is this the sorta stuff I'd care about
Half-way finishing sixteen novels, just the classics
Watching every episode of my favorite sitcom, twice
Writing letters to past lovers, apologizing for everything they'd become from what I'd done
Sneaking into hotel pools, and floating there all day
Just to think on my insolubles
And to drift away into one last lipophilicity
One last lie in the pool facility for one last lie pool felicity
I was just swimming around in circles
Water as a refuge
Hotter and hotter until I'm slaughtered by the deluge
'Til the morning's blotter will just read: the 'uj
And my gut's more pronounced and my speech can't compare
But my speck's still sticking around out there
I can't see my future as far as my feet
A death almost complete
Got desensitized to my speck's state
That pest of a blight since disguised as a breastplate
I still poked and prodded it as a pastime
But another point was plotted another bath time
I got used to it
No longer hated
But when I squeezed it absentmindedly
It deflated
It was circling around the drain
What was swimming around my brain
That I'd died in my mind
I'd already died
So I lost my way, and I lost my weight
What didn't steal my life just might've sealed my fate
I didn't feel myself, and that felt great.
Because who knows what's gonna happen in five more years
Just drink whatever's on tap and have five more beers
Don't pretend there's a gap, 'cause I've your minor fears
How many of my exes don't have my kids
How can you tell how good at sex someone you idolize is
What should I seek out, and what's none of my business
Is busyness a virtue you should min-max
Will it really hurt you to never learn to relax
When can I let go of my mind's beeswax
I had a white bump, a slight lump of flesh on my chest
It was the best
